Someone is gonna be pissed when they are going to lather up that hot dog/ burger

Guys from Wiskate

These guys are always killing it with a bunch of inventive tricks and goof ball antics. They always make skating look fun. It's nice to see people out there skating to have fun and not treating it like it's work. enjoy

Ratemykickflip from Gabe Chan on Vimeo.

New Lifeblood video: We Must Bleed

this video is pretty awesome. Some of the best transition skaters around. Hope you get a chance to see it. They are showing it in various cities across the country this weekend. Check out the website for a showing near you

http://vimeo.com/31436473

http://lifebloodskateboards.com/

Dignity Village

We have had a lot of visitors lately. It's been great having friends come in from VA to skate and make art. One of which is our good friend Johnston Foster who is doing a very large scale installation at the Disjecta gallery space in north Portland. Johnston's work requires large amounts of found plastics and other discarded items. Portland is good at setting things that may or may not be useful out in designated piles in random neighborhoods so we were out and about looking for desired materials. We came across a "yard sale" in the north east as we casually got lost. It looked janky as hell and decided to stop. We pull up and quickly noticed a small fenced in community. As we entered the gates we were slightly greeted by the security of this compound. As direct as possible he question our visit to the community but quickly asked if we wanted a tour. Johnston and I looked at each other and I thought he would ketch how large and wide eyed i was, which in eye contact language is lets get the fuck out of here before we get killed by some hobos. We did not share that moment. Johnston agrees with a "sure, but also a " what is this place." It's always a good idea to ask where you are before you get murdered just in case one of you gets out and is able to contact the authorities. The security guard told us to stay where we were and he'd find someone to give us a tour.It took a minute for the guard to find someone, during this time i was trying to hint to Johnston that we should just cut out. Yet again there must of been a communication block because we stuck around for around 5 minutes waiting for someone to show up. Her(him?) was named Rocky and the tour began. Rocky showed us about 3 of their structures before we were greeted by a guy named Dave. Dave looked like he had been around the block multiple times. He had a marijuana bandanna on pinning his long gray hair down to his head. He wore aviator sunglasses with a light tent, enough to see how gentle his eyes were. He spoke to us in a way that sounded like he was half way paying attention to what he was saying but his mind was somewhere else. As the tour went on, It was explained that this was a village for people who didn't have homes and wanted to live in a community that is nurturing and safe. Nothing shady could go down at Dignity Village and not be dealt with. I started to realize that the vibe at this place wasn't pathetic or hopeless but inspiring and up lifting and kind of felt ashamed for wanting to leave so quickly. To my credit, within the first steps of our tour we witnessed a guy hitting a couch with a sledge hammer taking it apart for what i guess for the materials. This place used everything. All their houses were built in precarious ways with what ever they could score through donations and what they find. Anything they could get their hands on was useful just like every body that was in the village had to be useful and help the community. They have their own micro government, they make their own rules and regulations. This is something that they could control together and succeed because alone they were too weak. We finished our tour and went on our way. Their pride was the most memorable about the whole experience. That and the couch

Big Ol' Neglect

I'm so sorry people. I feel like I've treated you so wrong and now I must make it up to you all. No no no, it's not okay. For those of you who have followed me with my bullshit comments and what nots i let you down. Got some fuel these days though. Some topics and things and stuffs that I've either observed or just stumbled upon. It was never you, it was me. I just love you so much baby, why can't you see that? I never meant to hit you, twice. Just come back baby! We were meant to be....

Slight old man rant...

This happens from time to time.... but when I go to my local skate park, I just get so annoyed by teenagers. No respect for anyone older than them at all. I figured that they would just get out of my way much like i did for anyone older then me skating when i was a youngin'. This is not the case anymore. I get sassed by kids on a regular basis. I've turned into the "Old Dick". Constantly yelling for kids to move. I just don't want to be injured by someone's negligence. I've been ran into by bikers on several occasions and it fucking hurts. I figure if i don't yell at them they'll never figure out that they are a nuance. plus they are so worried about their hair and cloths that they are a danger to me and themselves. jerks. ok done

I also tumble

This is where i post all my drawings at. I feel like i'm cheating on blogger but whatev. http://joshrodenberg.tumblr.com/

The A Team Movie. I have so many things to complain about with this movie but this being only one of them, it's a good one. WHO RIDES SPREAD EAGLE ON TOP OF A DANGEROUS CONVOY? Why would you ride on top of a HUM-V like this? you’d get shot so quickly and it just looks dumb

Tears for Beers #3: Lagunitas, Hop Stoopid

After a frucking long day at work, I was in some dire need for some drinks. The Lagunitas Hop Stoopid was recommended by a coworker. Being easily coxed into whatever most of the time I went for this Ale. It didn't hurt that it was only 3.99 for a pint bottle. Lets face it. I want something quality from time to time, but i don't really want to pay for it. It's the 'Merican way really. How often do you just go out and spend a bunch of money on an item that you've never had before. Probably never, unless you're one of "those" types that either spends all your money and complains about not having any or you are so rich from your parents that burning $100 bills can't bring you joy thus further. Back to the beer, I opened up this ale which by the way has an 8% alc. content. Shit that's a good amount for a $3.99 beer. Makes that papst/rainer/busch/high life/ any other cheapo beer in your hand go placid. Your first sip of this beer will be a bit confusing. Your taste buds need a chance to be submerged with the flavor/ texture of what the fuck is going on. Slow it down buddy, enjoy that shit. A couple more sips go down and maybe a gulp was intermingled in there as well. You get a light dry /citrus flavor with that hoppyness that jumps across the tongue. All of this considered, it is a smooth beer, doesn't have that meatiness that others have where you can't tell whether you've had a beer or a meal. Maybe the only problem here is these could go down too easy. I could really see myself drinking a few more of these and starting some ruckus. I've only had about 8 oz. and I'm feeling a little reaction. I'm no little tike either. 3 bottles of this and i'm sure I'd be either on the floor or possibly wrestling my friends in a friendly WWE(i still consider it WWF) Cage match, just like at my wedding. Get this as either a connoisseur of beers or if you just want to do the job and forget about the worries of your normal day. Make sure the Ibprofen and glass of water is waiting for you in the morning.

Tears for Beers #2: Walking Man IPA

A long time friend came into town this weekend and there was a few things that we needed to take care of. Getting caught up and drinking. We had the opportunity to try out many of the micro brews that Portland bars have to offer but one definitely stuck out from the rest. We visited a Coffee shop/Bar called Cooper's to watch the Timbers Vs. United soccer match and ordered a few Walking Man IPAs to quench the old thirst. Immediately the flavor of this mild IPA was honest and smooth. It had just enough hoppyness to make you notice it was in fact an IPA but not that overbearing ending that smacks the tongue like a Midwest domestic violence incident. Those hard hitting IPAs end up making me chug the rest of my beer in order to prolong that final taste. I then get wasted by their high alcohol count and the next thing I know I've had half a bottle of Jack Daniels, I've tried to hop over a fence and rip my pants from ankle to thy, have scraps and abrasions from trying to skate drunk and barely recall being slapped in the face. The next day of my life is devoted to swearing off alcohol and sweating out the evil. With the Walking Man IPA, this was not the case. We enjoyed the beer more than the game because it was a way more organized taste unlike the haphazardly chaotic playing style of any American major league Soccer team. Drinking a couple of pints definitely eased the pain of our beloved Timbers losing in a 3-2 match. Ended up only being 3 dollars a pint for this quality beer, leaving my wallet and I both satisfied.

Born Ugly Mag!

Check out this zine some friends of mine in Richmond VA do. It's great quality, with high caliber art and writing and its FREE! buy so swag, order some back issues or just donate to the cause! p.s. I also write some stuff occasionally for the blog



http://www.bornuglymag.com/

The Room: A dumb night with Tommy Wiseau

Last week, a co-worker informed me of an event he was working at and invited me to come watch a Q and A and showing with Tommy Wiseau of The Room. This film is rated one of the worst movies ever made and it is nothing shy of that. The movie stars Tommy with a cast of no-names who "act" in such a way that it almost seems like they are aware of how bad the movie really is. It's a awful story with a dialogue to match. It is full of cliche scenes and includes things that "good ol' 'mericans" do like play football, even if the participants are 3 feet away from each other. It was shot with a digital and film camera because Tommy didn't know the difference. He claims to be from the USA but I am highly doubtful of this. He has an accent like no other American and his English is on par with an immigrant. I feel as if he learned english by watching porn. The only way I can describe how he speaks is as if he were a dumb Werner Hertzog. All the arrogance but non of the intellect. you can learn more about his background through Wikipedia . I was turned on to the movie by two different friends who knew not of each other and told me I had to watch this movie. Being a fan of obscenely terrible movies, I rented it from netflix. Within the first 3-5 mins there was a sex scene, giving a full back shot of Tommy also know to my friend Nathan as "a piece of Lithuanian Jerky". I quickly paused the movie, called my other friend Jesse and asked if he had suggested a porn because I was watching this with my wife and sister and it was very awkward. He reassured me it wasn't and to continue watching but to be warn there were more disgusting adult situations to follow. He was exactly right and they were very long scenes. It was gross.

The event had four showings. I went to the fourth. I had seen this movie at least five times prior, mainly because I would show friends how much of a train wreck it was. Most were reluctant and for good reasons. I met some friends before so we could grab some food and drinks. We showed up to the movie theater and were surprised to see Tommy right there by the doors signing autographs and taking pictures. He was being quite the ham. It's as if he couldn't get enough of the attention and got in every chance to show off. He was wearing a cut off satin shirt with a leather vest chaps and pants with chains and loops. Something that you might find at an S&M shop or Hot Topics. (btw i've never been to an S&M shop, but it's what I imagined) We got up to him and I got my picture taken. I had a few beers so I wasn't letting any inhibitions stop me. I told him to flex his muscles and i did the same, while i held on to his bicep. It did feel like jerky!!! I was disgusted to be honest. I was walking away when Tommy insisted that the friends I came with all get in the picture and he demanded a person in line to take the photo. They hopped in and we got it. It was getting close to show time so we continued to our seats.
As the Q & A was beginning, my friends and I were conversing about the movie. On friend hadn't seen it at all and the other only partially because of how bad it was. The announcer introduced Tommy with an intro fit for a good director, I couldn't believe what i was hearing and was wondering if this was the same person. Tommy's name was announced and he came running down the isle just like a WWF wrestler (wwe now) would have, ready to fake wrestle with our questions. He talked in person just like his script. It was obvious he had written this movie. He was playing the crowd who were all major supporters of him, one in which had seen the movie over 50 times. I was clearly at a pep rally for a jerk off's ego. One by one the questions were asked and Tommy chose to either answer them or just reject the question and move on if he didn't like it. I thought this was kind of bullshit. He's trying to keep a mysterious personality but it's so lame that I barely care. I really just want to know where he is really from. So I mustered up the courage and asked. . He rejected it of course but what kind of pissed me off was that someone in the audience (you can't hear it in the video) told me to fuck off. I responded as i did and went to my seat. Tommy deflated my love for the movie mainly because he was milking the teat of a pathetic cow. The only thing he has going for him is a movie that he made sincerely and everyone laughed at it. By the way he called it a black comedy after the reaction wasn't what he expected. He's a hack and is trying to play it off as if he indented it to be this way. I'm calling him out on it. It would take a epic genius in order to pull this off and even then, that person would give you some sort of hint that it was all a hoax. I think he's just trying to get as much out of this as possible and float for the rest of his life. More power to him and we'll really see if his next movie ever comes out because it IS a comedy. I'm sure the jokes will be contrived and unbearable. I never had respect for the guy, I guess i just wanted him to be a little bit more humble. He's very lucky to be where he is and god knows there are millions of people more talented who could use the hype.

You can't take the country out of the...guy from the country?

For those of you who are fans of what i call "red neck games" I decided to bring the country in me out to Portland. I started building a few games that I am fond of from my days in the Midwest. 1: being Corn hole, I know the name is dumb but it is a pretty fun game.(hehe I rhymed) I've been meaning to build this game for years but never got around to it. With all the time in the world, I got crackin'. You get 4 bags filled with corn, hence the corn part, and you throw it at a board with a hole, I think you got it. Look red necks aren't the most creative and i'm pretty sure they knew what they were doing when they named it. It's fun to drink and play. Number 2: is the game Washers, yet again brilliant name. You get these large washers and pitch them at a board with holes in it. There are variations of different boards that you can build and lord know arguments on which one is the right way, but i'm sticking with what I know and building a 5 hole board. Yeah i know i got some country in me and my educated college brain is fighting it, but shut up righteous brain! we're getting drunk and playin' some back yard games.

Mural Project done!

It's been done for a a few weeks. Internet has officially been installed at my house so i can post more regularly. The Slogan (by me) is a little dumb but who the hell cares. I thought it was witty. As we finished the last details like painting the top of the jersey barrier, it started to rain. Portland and rain, go figure. The rain/paint water began to run down the front and immediately we were pissed. After a few minutes, We realized it looked like rain and just fit. Happy accidents are grand. I do need to put another coat of sealer on it and it's pretty much there.

Mural Project

My wife Charlotte and I are about to start a mural project at the Brooklyn spot. We were given the OK a while back are allowed to paint on one of the Jersey barriers street side of the entrance. I'll post some of the preliminaries here soon. and back with the progress. Hopefully we'll knock it out this week before the benefit show this saturday

brooklyn Spot

This is a Portland DIY spot created and funded by skaters and skateboarding lovers.
It's probably one of the hardest but fun spots to skate. A bonus is that everyone who builds, organizes and funds this spot are cool as hell. Donate to the cause if you got the extra skarilla

Tears for Beers:#1 Hop Valley Brewing Co.

I decided to start an ongoing beer review series after reviewing a cheap-o beer a couple weeks ago. Why you ask, because I like beer and there are a few million to try up here in Portland, OR. So with out Further adieu:

This will be a double trouble post because i drank both the Vanilla Infused Porter and the Alphadelic IPA. We had a long day of easters, entertaining family and friends for the first time in our new home in NE Portland. My wife Charlotte had bought these beers to share with our guests but after they had all left, and my makers mark buzz was going strong, it was time to crack open that shit. I open the fridge and at first I avoided the Porter because of it's vanilla infusion. Anytime something is infused with something else it automatically makes me not wanting it. What is this process of infusing? I open the IPA and it gets drank. This is probably where my beer review is gonna get fuzzier and less informative. I remember it was very "hoppy". I feel it is hard to describe completely because pin pointing taste is redundant. We all have our own tastes and we won't have the same opinion about how things taste. It left my tongue dry and restless. A lot of smacking of the chops and I needed another liquid to wet this desert tongue of mine.
Out of frustration and needing more liquids, I open the porter. It actually wasn't too bad. Maybe there was something to this infusing thing. The vanilla kissed your tongue ever so gently as you were able to drink this lighter porter that didn't leave you feeling as if you had swallowed a swollen baby cow. As the tasting went on Charlotte and I continued to drink another of each. They couldn't of been too bad right?

The Job Interview : repost

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I'm a big NPR fan

But.... Neil Conan sometimes will be a bit of a condescending prick after he hears something that he doesn't seem to think is true. Its kinds of strange because he's usually cool as a cucumber and he'll challenge something that someone says in such a dickish way. Its mainly because of his tone. I don't mind when he puts someone in their place, especially when they are being dicks in the first place. Just Sayin'

If there is one thing that most of us can agree on it is that money is TIGHT these days. I’ve been experiencing my own financial hardship lately and have been coming up with ways to cope with the burden. After recently moving to Portland, OR I discovered another bonus to living in the area (First and fore most being the skate parks). There is a deposit taken when purchasing your drink of choice, and after you have enjoyed your refreshment, you can put your can or bottle into a machine outside of your local grocery store and get your 5 cents back. Normally the local homeless and scum bags are the ones who participate in this activity but guess who has two thumbs and is broke as shit? This guy right here!!
For the last month I have neglected my recycling and have accumulated a substantial amount of bottles and cans. This is the result of weeks of spending money that I couldn’t afford to in the first place and it has finally caught up with me. I don’t know your situation, but after a full day of looking for a job for some reason I just want to get fucked up. I then scrounge for change in every crevasse in my house hoping it will amount up to enough for a 40oz. I quickly realize that all hope is lost because I did the exact same thing a few days ago and cleaned this mug out. One of those pigtail light bulbs lit up over my head, they are more energy efficient fuckers get with it. Because of my laziness, I have a mound of gold in my recycling bin. Finally my bumlynesss has paid off!! I take this filthy stank heap to the magic money machines in order to claim my reward! The only down side to this process is that you are intermingled with all the other bums at the machines. You can imagine the caliber of person because you deny them of change every day. It is slightly embarrassing at first, but you have to keep your eye on the prize. After depositing 85 containers, I got $4.25 back. Lets go shopping!
You have to be a smart shopper and get the most bang for your buck. That’s why I went with the beer GENESEE®. A buck o’ 9 and you’re feeling fine. You have just purchased yourself 24 ounces of freedom so let go of all your worries because GENESEE® will make it all right baby. It’s not terrible and it ain’t great, but you’re not perfect either. I consider myself a coinsurer of cheap beers and I rank this one just above Busch and slightly below an Old Milwaukee. It has an honest flavor with a smooth finish and most importantly it hasn’t given me those next day shits that I feared would occupy most of my time. It is a MEH beer with a kick ass design. I feel this is the beginning of a multi-hangover induced friendship.

Sensitive hands

Since I am a dishwasher once again, I had forgotten what condition it leaves your hands in. I've worked in the wood shop for so long that i've developed calluses i thought were forever deep. In one week all of those are gone and I'm left with cut and nicked up soft smooth hands. Last night i cut myself 5 times. They should come up with bandage gloves. Then when i got home I accidently picked a tiny (reoccurring) scab on my nose and it began to bleed profusely for 15 mins.

This is pretty much a pointless post, but it is a warning message to all who wash dishes. tear you up

Check this out!

This is my friend Chris Mahonski's journal while he takes his expedition across the united states. The Goal is to ride his bike from West to East Coast. He started in San Francisco, CA down to LA and is headed to Richmond VA where he resides. His site is full of great stories and pictures of his journey. Last i talked to him he was in AZ. Brave chap. show him your support.

http://www.cyclinginthisdimension.com/

Born to do dishes?

Well, for right. stress and care free. Dish overlord out!

Gold Teeth

I think gold teeth are great. I'm working up the nerve (and skrillia) to get one of my own. I don't know what or where the fascination came from. I even get excited when I see someone's tooth black out on a billboard. Those two are really the polar opposites though. A blacked out tooth or lack of a tooth ends up being very noticeable because it is breaking the normality of that person. You may have sympathy for that person missing the tooth because you know someone who has had a tooth knocked out. Or perhaps you are actually missing a tooth and can relate to the pain and or inconvenience of the tooth being gone. I also just find it funny when it's on a billboard, but not so much with someone in front of me. I wouldn't laugh then.

The gold tooth is the glorification of the tooth. It can symbolize status (for some reason) i don't know if that is status with your food like you food will think you are cool while you are eating it or with people. Maybe your food would feel more honored being eaten by teeth with some value, not just the run of the mill regular boring teeth. I would be more comfortable being eaten by someone with gold teeth.

Having a crooked tooth of my own, it is already noticed by everyone who sees me smile. I might as well just gold that shit and make it official. I don't want it to be a status symbol but more of a celebration of the comfortability I have towards my screwed up tooth. It sets me apart from you and that other person and that one girl. Who cares anyways my teeth aren't perfect white anyways they are on their way to being gold colored anyhow. Why not speed up the process?

Wha!

The worst thing about gettin all growns up (and this could just be me and probably is) is that you get use to caring about what others think of you. Even as a child I always thought there was something different about me. I haven't ever felt like I was part of the norm and wasn't sure how to utilize or harness this potentially unique brain. I will blame the beginning of the transformation to caring what others think on being a teen. This is the point in your life when you care the most about what other think and it is during these 7 years where you try to keep yourself from being scrutinized by the other zit piles. It's a defense, I get it and what I wish I could go back and tell young Josh is that it doesn't matter, they'll make fun of you regardless. I also wish i could go back and place myself into situations that would have facilitated my ideas, but I digress. So you practice this behavior of "fitting in" for the seven year duration and then it becomes too easy to keep it up and so for the next three to five years you do . The longer you let your creative brain go and contribute to normal society, the harder is to grasp what it was that was so creative about your brain in the first place.

Now as a 29 year old, I desperately want that adolescent goof brain back. Is it still there? Did it go anywhere at all? Maybe it is like exercising your muscles and it can become stronger the more it is worked out. The only problem is that your mature muscles are already buff as hell and flex all over that creative brain. My goal is to unstifle that creativity once again. There is nothing interesting in acting like someone else or a version of what someone else is. I'm pretty sick of the average. I'm interested in those who pave that way and challenge that norm. I can't imagine that following another's lead is what we were put on this glowy wet/dryish spinny rock for. Honestly I don't think there is a reason and thats another reason to just exist and not to try so hard. Get your spontaneous on!!

Skate Rant from a couple weeks ago

Barreling down the blemish free, pebbless, close to polished concrete, I practice the line that I have created over the last six weeks at my neighborhood skate park (in which I have a love hate relationship with based around hurting myself). My new home Portland, OR has treated me pretty well thus far, I think to myself. Scanning my eyes across the park, trying to focus in on the youngsters who flow aimlessly in every direction, waiting for my turn to cross into what seems like enemy territory. I’m suddenly reminded of a wave in the ocean that breaks violently, causing chaotic motion in multiple directions. Just like this wave, these kids are a force of nature, unable to be tamed by any man. As my eyes scan quickly back and forth my head tries to follow but is only met with a dizziness only felt when spinning in circles for several minutes. I am sure that I must look like a delirious old man to these vibrant young ones so desperate to obtain and maintain their public image. As my brain tries to record the information necessary to keep from hurting myself and keep from running over or killing children, I stop and think for a second how hilarious these adolescents are and how much they piss me off. In a matter of a one-hour visit to my local skate park, I managed to make a list of DON’TS that these kids should take into consideration. Hopefully this is not a terrible rant much like that of what Andy Rooney would do on the tail end of a 60 minutes episode, bringing himself one more segment closer to a miserable anger filled death.

1. Please, just please, consider others while pushing along on your skateboard, scooter, or bike. The only reason I am paying even the slightest bit of attention to you at all is because there is a risk of me accidentally slaughtering your due to the extra 175 pounds of man that I have grown. I don’t care about your flippy tech tricks that honestly bore the hell out of me anyways. I am there for my enjoyment.
2. There are four different grom groups filming your styleless tricks. Ban together and make one shitty movie. Imovie for MAC already has the template for it! Plus your self-esteem will enhance from all of the new friends you have made sucking. Go ahead, send that video to your local shop for sponsorship, I’m sure they’ll get a good laugh at it, especially because I’m in the back ground making a sour face with a thumbs down.
3. Stop drinking Caprice Sun at the park. What is this day care? You don’t need to juice up with energy drinks like MONSTER, Red Bull, Rockstar, or Jolt cola (ok that’s before your time but still) either. Just drink some water. It is pretty refreshing too! If I see a snack pack, I’m going to slap it out of your hand, and PICK UP AFTER YOURSELF. You don’t know how lucky you are to have a skatepark!
4. This one is for you little bit bigger young ones. Yes, you have your license, but no that does not mean you can do doughnuts in the parking lot. Hey idiot, 1992 called, they want their shitty looking Mustang back! Buttholes drive that car.
5. Bikes! It is called a skate park, just sayin’. No need to continue on this one. Fill in the blank here…

Like I said. I’m enjoying my time at the parks here in Portland. For those of you who think we have a sufficient amount of parks, I would go to say that there are not enough. Most of the time the parks are grossly over inhabited with an extreme age range of people. Another possibility, and the most unsettling answer to my frustrations is that I could be officially getting old.